Sep 30, 2010

Accepted Lies of Football #1


Andy Gray - "Mr Pretentious Arsehole 2010". Congratulations Andy


Quotes taken from Andy Gray’s ‘expert’ column on the Sky Sports Website.

Finding their feet?  More like finding his facts…

It’s been said by people vastly more intelligent than I’ll ever be, that if repeated enough a lie can easily become the truth, and in football this couldn’t be any more apt.  Accepted lies in football starts with a bumper edition thanks solely to the arrogance and stupidity of Sky Sports very own house prat Andy Gray.  Over the years Andy has proved to be one the biggest advocates of this practice, his ego and delusion that his opinion is one that is respected and craved throughout the footballing world… Andy, Andy, Andy…  Your insight into football is second to everyone, including the clinically insane and blind.  How you continue to be paid to spout your verbal sewage and generally abuse a revered position on the EPL’s forefront broadcaster is absolutely staggering.  I did, however, enjoy your latest shpeel of lies directed at Newcastle United and would like to perhaps point out a few short falls in what you so weakly would describe as an argument to be heard.

Lie 1:
“Essentially the squad is made up of the same set of players that took them down – plus Dan Gosling, James Perch, Cheick Tiote, Hatem Ben Arfa  and Sol Campbell”

So Andy, that means we no longer have Wayne Routledge, Danny Simpson, Mike Williamson and Leon Best.  This also discounts Andy Carroll who emerged and flourished last season, and the likes of Nile Ranger, Tamas Kadar and Haris Vuckic who have risen from the youth team…  If Mr Gray was able to see anything beyond the tedious 4 he might know this.  But then again, why do research and be a genuine football pundit when you can just recycle the same unfounded bullsh#t that does the rounds through moronic mouths.  Just to clarify – here is Newcastle’s 1st teams on the last day of the season 08/09 and 09/10.

Villa (A) May 09
Harper, Edgar, Taylor, Coloccini, Butt, Nolan, Guthrie, Viduka, Martins, Duff, Lovenkrands.

Man Utd (A) Aug 10
Harper, Perch, Enrique, Coloccini, Williamson, Routledge, Barton, Smith, Carroll, Nolan, Gutierrez

3 players that had little to no involvement in the relegation season (in blue) and 3 players that weren’t even at the club on relegation day (in red).  To reinforce this, since that fateful day no fewer than 6 first team players have left and 9 first team choices have arrived.  This of course is ‘essentially the same squad’.  Regardless, this argument on its own holds very little weight.  Even if the squad were to be made of exactly the same players that went down the problem was that it was hopelessly demotivated and demoralised by the in-fighting at the club and best part of 4 managers, 1 being Joe f#ckin’ Kinnear, taking charge of NUFC at various points of the season – even with all this against us we were only relegated by a solitary point.  Now, we return structurally reinforced, the club calm, quiet and stable yet we are still considered relegation fodder.  Just like West Brom and Blackpool, who have both had impressive starts.  And just like Wolves and Birmingham were the season before.  And just like Stoke were the season before…

Lie 2:
“I think the Newcastle fans might have learnt a lot over the last couple of years. I always felt that when the likes of Kevin, Bobby Robson and Ruud Gullit were there that the fans expected to win the league almost as a matter of course.”

This is by far and away my most favourite misconception in football.  Unfounded, untrue, totally ridiculous, totally unproven and still to this day remains all of this.  At what point Newcastle fans were quizzed on mass as to what their specific expectations during any season over the last 10 years is news to me.  All I receive in the post is letters from the bank asking if I would like a loan which I have no need for or ability to pay back.  Which is probably not as ridiculous as the joke of a misconception that Newcastle fans expect to win the league every season.   Or, Mr Gray, are you basing your opinions on the occasional muppet that ends up being interviewed and heavily edited on Sky Sports News.  But of course he doesn’t, as he starts the sentence “I have always felt”.  So basically this is Andy Gray quite simply having an unfounded, unprovoked, factless and baseless attack on Newcastle fans just because this is what he feels.  Well Andy, I feel you are a wiitless, pathetic, moron with an opinion not even worthy of a glance let alone a read.  But unlike you, I use your words as evidence towards this claim.  Just for the record, and to put your feelings to order – NEWCASTLE UNITED FANS DO NOT THINK THEY ARE BIGGER THAN THEY ARE, THEY DO NOT EXPECT TO WIN THE LEAGUE, CHALLENGE FOR THE LEAGUE – THEY ARE AMBITIOUS BUT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT AND BEING F#CKIN’ UNREALISTIC. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS YOU F#CKIN’ CRETINS??!  I thank you for listening and fully expect you to ignore this statement in any literacy in the future.

Lie 3:
“Shola Ameobi will have to play his part too. He’ll know that scoring against Chelsea reserves in the Carling Cup is one thing and doing so in the Premier League is another”

Chelsea’s reserves, ey?   Fair enough to say that wasn’t a Chelsea first team, but no mention of Newcastle’s NINE changes, presenting our own reserves as opposition.  The very fact that he mentions 2nd choice striker Shola Ameobi should give him some inclination that this was not a Newcastle 1st team.  Ever heard of giving credit of where credit is due Andy?  Of course not, you’re too preoccupied in protecting the honour of one of your beloved top 4 clubs.  How dare we beat the mighty Chelsea.  How dare we egg the face of the blue juggernaught with a much deserved win in an inspiring performance.  We are just over expecting Newcastle.  We should feel lucky to even be here, to even be in existence.   Well let me take this opportunity to fully apologise for this disgraceful behavior and it will not happen again.  We wouldn’t want you to publish more lies under the disgraced name of Newcastle United….


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